well

my previous journal ended up being more than i could respond too. i apologize.
although i read each and every one of your comments. every one.
i always do, so never you worry or feel unheard with me.

someone mentioned in one of their comments...that i should tell you all some things about myself.
to perhaps, enlighten those of you i called phantoms. i hadn't noticed that i seem to be pretty phantom-like myself.
i never really thought of it. i kind of am...i dunno. phantomly. that's right, phantomly.
i made up a word.

i don't know where to begin with something like....introducing myself. hhhhnnng
i feel weird about talking about myself. even though, i do it all the time...

welp. my names's casey. i have two brothers. one older, one younger. i'm a middle kid. i wish my brothers and i were closer because i love them a whole lot. my favorite color is green. my favorite animals is a bear. or a cat. i don't capitalize because my mom told me about e.e. cummings in the library when i was about twelve...and i thought, if he didn't capitalize his i's, i wasn't going to either. because "i" never felt very important. and none of my teachers seemed to mind. so...then it eventually spread to all capitalizing in general...

i wish i lived in a house in the woods. with my cat.
my cat is the coolest cat ever. his name is sam.
i also have another cat who is arguably the coolest cat ever.
her name is cereal. i named them both. and they make me happy.

music is a giant part of my life. i grew up in a musical family. my dad plays guitar, my mom sings, my two brothers also play guitar. collectively, my two brothers play...a lot of instruments. bass, drums, trumpet, keyboard, i dunno....i on the other hand, fell in love with the accordion. i own two. and i play sometimes when people aren't around, or sleeping...which is difficult because usually people are either around, or sleeping lol. but when i do play, it gives me the best feeling. it's like breathing music. there's also a very old reed organ in my dining room that my brothers and i fool around on. it reminds me of a giant accordion. they're very similar.

to play it....feels like a new set of lungs.
i struggle with depression and anxiety and when i feel like i can't breathe, it's nice to sit down and breathe a few chords with my music-lungs ♥

or to sit outside and breathe cold air at night. it's one of my favorite things to do to relax. sit outside with my cat friend, sam, and we breathe cold air. and maybe sing a song or two to the sky.

there.

now you know things about me. and feel free to talk to me and stuff...
i know i'm just a person you watch. but...like, i'm a person. and i like to share my life and feelings.
that's why i'm on this site in the first place. that's why....i'm...an artist...

and now i leave you with a bjork video.
cause i'm a bjork dork! and i'm REALLY REALLLY sad right now!!! and this song makes me feel happy when i listen to it!!
because who else can make a song about losing your keys so awesome??? nobody! i'm using excessive punctuation to raise my mood!!!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nPNBi…

also.
www.formspring.me/cerealismyca…
my formsping. just so you know.

goodnight