Cwoz

Hey everyone, anyone... I just wanted to say hi. And that I'm still here and alive. And thank you, to those who are still here. I'd like to post some new stuff if you're interested. I've been away for so long and so much has happened, so I'm not sure where to start or what to say. But I figured this is as good a start as any. Hi.

and all the awful things you said. wondering if you really felt them. of course you did...you faded from light blue to dark black. it's been six months. and i didn't realize how self destructive i was until tonight. when i almost called you. just so you'd yell at me. how fucked is that what kind of person hates themselves so much and needs so much attention that they would think of calling someone who hates them. just to get into an inevitable fight. just to feel like shit. on top of shit. when they have perfectly loving arms to fall into. me.

have drawings of little leaves everywhere. we go outside. you french inhale your smoke there's something hypnotizing about a flame. about you. that i like. and i find that i love you. the way you talk. with your lips. i don't understand how you see me as beautiful. on the inside and the out. see me as something special and rare. that you'll just fuck up. and of course i don't believe you. and i still think that people can change. sometimes i can't figure out why we ended up back together. and how we can fit so perfect, and so dangerous. you're fire and i'm a tree. orange and green. we're still the same people we used to be. i don't

to loud music before it gets too late to scream. living in these apartments. i'm just another cube in a building. i'm doing everything i can think of to occupy my thoughts. cigarette after cigarette. i'm tired of going outside. i got a long message from a girl who hates me now. who blames me for all her problems now. how could i do this to her. leave her in this mess. words. more words. i can't read what she's writing anymore because i'm getting tears in my eyes. so i scream. i'm waiting and hoping for alex to come soon... otherwise i think i'm gonna explode or hurt myself.

'm really fucked up. i had an idea in my head and. i don't know. i don't have all my screws i think we need eachother... we can't fix eachother. but we're all broken machines. and i think certain people can be holding the parts you're missing. not just one person can have all your parts. different people have different parts for different people. one person has your screws and the other has some bolts and such. i'm lacking in parts, i think. i guess this is just another way of saying i'm lonely. i'm sorry.